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“You saw my pain, washed out in the rain and broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart and you knelt beside my hope torn apart.”
Obi-Wan quietly sang, staring down at the piano keys that he refused to touch. It wasn’t quite time yet, no, to go to that. He listened to Sammi strum at her guitar, trying to lose himself in the melody she created, the melody that gave him such feeling, returned his thoughts to so many memories of the past. The wonderful and at times tragic past he’d had with Anakin. They were still quite rocky, and he was unsure of where they stood with each other. Even though he’d tried to make it up to him and his leaving wasn’t entirely his own fault; everyone had been affected by that strange spell from the witches, just in different ways. Running away was how the sickness had manifested in him.
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view and we'll live a long life.
They both had already lived such long lives. He was old, so old, but never truly felt it when he was with his love. When they were on good terms, it was like he was dancing amongst the clouds, like he was a child of the sun. Everything was wonderful, everything was full of light, and yet something always happened. He always did something to distance himself from that beautiful luminescence he had come to adore and cherish. He always turned his back on it, he ruined it. Everything he touched turned to dust in his hands and slipped between his fingers, lost to him.
”So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light ‘cause oh they gave me such a fright, but I will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright.”
It was his greatest wish, that they always recover from everything that they had to face. Every endeavor, be it big or small; a foe on the outside, or when they saw each other as such. He had to have Anakin close to him, with him, in his life, loving and caring for him just as he did the younger man. He was his life, in its entirety. There was nothing for him if he didn’t have him and that was what drove him to the dark so many times, so long ago. No matter what happened, his husband, that darling man always brought him back to himself, just as he’d tried to do for him so many years ago. But sometimes, when they fought, he felt so much fear and it pushed him back to that place...
”So lead me back, turn south from that place and close my eyes to my recent disgrace ‘cause you know my call and will share my all and our children come they will hear me roar.”
Looking up, he saw the blue-haired girl smiling at him so gently, so adoringly. She was the most wonderful child. Even if Sammi wasn’t his in the least, he did love her as if she were his own. Anakin had done such a good job with her, helped her grow into a person that could be admired, looked up to, relied upon for wise advise that was far beyond her years. This child, he was so close to, he admired greatly for her generosity of spirit and the playfulness of Anakin that reflected in her. When he felt those dark thoughts coming upon him, being near this girl, this bright beacon of Light personified always pushed it back and made him feel whole and secure. In the back of his mind, faintly, he felt his fingers move to the keys of the piano, playing a melody that complimented Sammi’s.
“So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light ‘cause oh they gave me such a fright, but I will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright.
Hold me still bury my heart on the coals, hold me still bury my heart next to yours.”
All he wanted was to be with his precious beloved, to live out what days he had left by his side, doing what he could to make him happy, to make him see just how much he loved him and how devoted he was to his every whim. One might say they were equals, but Obi-Wan always submitted, wanting Anakin to feel cared for and happy; he was the center of his universe, had been for as long as he could remember, now, and that would never change, no matter what happened to the titles they shared between them. He would always be his, even at times like the current, when he wasn’t entirely sure where they stood; whether or not Anakin would forgive him and welcome him back into his heart with warm, open arms.
”So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light ‘cause oh they gave me such a fright, but I will hold on with all of my might, just promise me we'll be alright.”
At times like this, he fell into that darkness again, as he had decades ago. But, no more. He had grown through his pain, through his suffering, thanks to the love he received. He was a better man for it, and he felt he always would be. There was no chance of falling to the dark anymore, even if his heart fractured irreparably. He would be a greater man; he was changed for the better, forever, because of all his loving memories, every little experience, every ache and longing. It all made him stronger, made him feel like the man he once was, the man he had been long before the purge. The wise mentor that would advise others, would guide young ones to the correct path. Finally, he was able to do that for himself again, all thanks to him.
“But the ghosts that we knew made us black and all blue, but we'll live a long life. And the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view, and we'll live a long life.”
The memories that haunted him, the cold shades of guilt that often obscured his heart didn’t hurt him any longer; not really, not as intensely as they once had. Everything happened for a reason, he knew, everything that happened was meant to be. The will of the Force could not be changed. Able to move on now, finally, Obi-Wan was resolved to put aside his sadness and dedicate himself to this amazing family, full of people from far-reaches of the galaxy, with so many talents, so much to give to everyone else, so much love…
Everything, all of this, he knew would counteract any of that old darkness he felt in him. With renewed confidence, he would return to the calm, gentle man that he once was, that so many admired. He felt it within him, coming back, taking over his entire being as his lips curled into a smile.
Letting go of the past was never something he’d fully done before but now, with these words in his heart, echoing aloud throughout the otherwise quiet music room with kind blue eyes inherited from the man he loved staring at him… he knew it would all be alright.
Obi-Wan quietly sang, staring down at the piano keys that he refused to touch. It wasn’t quite time yet, no, to go to that. He listened to Sammi strum at her guitar, trying to lose himself in the melody she created, the melody that gave him such feeling, returned his thoughts to so many memories of the past. The wonderful and at times tragic past he’d had with Anakin. They were still quite rocky, and he was unsure of where they stood with each other. Even though he’d tried to make it up to him and his leaving wasn’t entirely his own fault; everyone had been affected by that strange spell from the witches, just in different ways. Running away was how the sickness had manifested in him.
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view and we'll live a long life.
They both had already lived such long lives. He was old, so old, but never truly felt it when he was with his love. When they were on good terms, it was like he was dancing amongst the clouds, like he was a child of the sun. Everything was wonderful, everything was full of light, and yet something always happened. He always did something to distance himself from that beautiful luminescence he had come to adore and cherish. He always turned his back on it, he ruined it. Everything he touched turned to dust in his hands and slipped between his fingers, lost to him.
”So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light ‘cause oh they gave me such a fright, but I will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright.”
It was his greatest wish, that they always recover from everything that they had to face. Every endeavor, be it big or small; a foe on the outside, or when they saw each other as such. He had to have Anakin close to him, with him, in his life, loving and caring for him just as he did the younger man. He was his life, in its entirety. There was nothing for him if he didn’t have him and that was what drove him to the dark so many times, so long ago. No matter what happened, his husband, that darling man always brought him back to himself, just as he’d tried to do for him so many years ago. But sometimes, when they fought, he felt so much fear and it pushed him back to that place...
”So lead me back, turn south from that place and close my eyes to my recent disgrace ‘cause you know my call and will share my all and our children come they will hear me roar.”
Looking up, he saw the blue-haired girl smiling at him so gently, so adoringly. She was the most wonderful child. Even if Sammi wasn’t his in the least, he did love her as if she were his own. Anakin had done such a good job with her, helped her grow into a person that could be admired, looked up to, relied upon for wise advise that was far beyond her years. This child, he was so close to, he admired greatly for her generosity of spirit and the playfulness of Anakin that reflected in her. When he felt those dark thoughts coming upon him, being near this girl, this bright beacon of Light personified always pushed it back and made him feel whole and secure. In the back of his mind, faintly, he felt his fingers move to the keys of the piano, playing a melody that complimented Sammi’s.
“So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light ‘cause oh they gave me such a fright, but I will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright.
Hold me still bury my heart on the coals, hold me still bury my heart next to yours.”
All he wanted was to be with his precious beloved, to live out what days he had left by his side, doing what he could to make him happy, to make him see just how much he loved him and how devoted he was to his every whim. One might say they were equals, but Obi-Wan always submitted, wanting Anakin to feel cared for and happy; he was the center of his universe, had been for as long as he could remember, now, and that would never change, no matter what happened to the titles they shared between them. He would always be his, even at times like the current, when he wasn’t entirely sure where they stood; whether or not Anakin would forgive him and welcome him back into his heart with warm, open arms.
”So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light ‘cause oh they gave me such a fright, but I will hold on with all of my might, just promise me we'll be alright.”
At times like this, he fell into that darkness again, as he had decades ago. But, no more. He had grown through his pain, through his suffering, thanks to the love he received. He was a better man for it, and he felt he always would be. There was no chance of falling to the dark anymore, even if his heart fractured irreparably. He would be a greater man; he was changed for the better, forever, because of all his loving memories, every little experience, every ache and longing. It all made him stronger, made him feel like the man he once was, the man he had been long before the purge. The wise mentor that would advise others, would guide young ones to the correct path. Finally, he was able to do that for himself again, all thanks to him.
“But the ghosts that we knew made us black and all blue, but we'll live a long life. And the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view, and we'll live a long life.”
The memories that haunted him, the cold shades of guilt that often obscured his heart didn’t hurt him any longer; not really, not as intensely as they once had. Everything happened for a reason, he knew, everything that happened was meant to be. The will of the Force could not be changed. Able to move on now, finally, Obi-Wan was resolved to put aside his sadness and dedicate himself to this amazing family, full of people from far-reaches of the galaxy, with so many talents, so much to give to everyone else, so much love…
Everything, all of this, he knew would counteract any of that old darkness he felt in him. With renewed confidence, he would return to the calm, gentle man that he once was, that so many admired. He felt it within him, coming back, taking over his entire being as his lips curled into a smile.
Letting go of the past was never something he’d fully done before but now, with these words in his heart, echoing aloud throughout the otherwise quiet music room with kind blue eyes inherited from the man he loved staring at him… he knew it would all be alright.
